Her Frustration
by Jace22
Summary: Charlie thinks she's going to wake the baby, Claire wishes he'd stop smothering her. CharlieClaire. More onesided, though.


**Title**: Her Frustration  
**Pairing**: Charlie/Claire (one sided)   
**Rating**: PG  
**Summary**: Charlie thinks she's going to wake the baby, Claire wishes he'd stop smothering her

Her Frustration

She hasn't been able to sleep tonight. The heat all over her skin, her frustrations at the top of her mind. The baby, Charlie, everything. She paces; she hasn't paced in so long, but the movement helps her thoughts flow, and they've been going in circles lately.

She barely notices when Charlie walks up to her, because she's so used to him always being there that it's just something that makes her sigh inwardly now and feel even more exhausted.

"You're going to wake the baby, Claire." Charlie whispers.

"I think I would know if I was going to wake my baby or not, Charlie." Claire lowers her eyes, feeling defensive now. She's sick of Charlie telling her what to do with _her_ baby. Like she doesn't know how to take care of Aaron herself. Mother's do have instincts, you know, and obviously she was meant to raise the baby herself, like the psychic said. _Her_ goodness was supposed to rub off, not the goodness of some has-been rock star, who for all she knows could be some sort of criminal. 

"Yeah, but, Claire, you moving around so much—he's going to hear you walking around."

Claire looks at him disbelievingly, "What are you _talking_ about?" She blames her accent for not making the words sound as harsh as she'd like them to. Sometimes she wishes she had a tough, American accent, maybe one like Sawyer's. One that would easily scare Charlie away. One that people weren't constantly telling her was 'cute' or 'sweet.' She's sick of being both those things. Being cute and sweet can't protect her here.

"Not only hear you," Charlie says by way of explanation, "but also _feel_ you. Babies can sense these things."

"No they can't!" She cries, and turns sharply when Aaron begins to wail from his crib.

"See what you've done?" Charlie accuses, and goes over to Aaron to comfort him. Claire watches as Charlie shushes Aaron and cradles him in his arms.

"What _I've_ done?" She can feel her eyes welling up with tears of frustration, and she wishes she could just make them stop. Make everything stop. She wants to be alone, to be with her baby without Charlie smothering her—trying to force a family down her throat.

He must see the change in her eyes, because he puts Aaron down gently and walks closer. He lifts a hand at rests it on her cheek, tilting her face up towards his. "Claire," He says softly, "I'm sorry. I know you're trying here—"

"Trying," She repeats, "Charlie, you don't understand. I don't have to—I don't have to _try_ anything. I'm Aaron's mother; I think I know what to do. I think I have some, some instincts that are kicking in, but you! You won't let me do a thing on my own. You're always here. Always butting in. I wish you'd stop sometimes."

"I thought you liked me helping you. Helping with Aaron. You can't," He pauses when he sees her face harden, "You _shouldn't_ have to do this on your own."

"I was going to have to."

"That's not true. You were going to give him up."

"And can you blame me?" She cries, "You keep saying so yourself. I can't do this on my own, but Charlie I don't know if I can do this with you either. You haven't given me a—a choice in the matter. You've just been here the whole time, especially since I came back from Ethan, and it's just…"

"Claire." He says, stepping forward, resting his hands on her shoulders. "I love you, and there's nothing you can do about it. I love you and Aaron, and I want to help, I want to be a part of both your lives. That's not going to change."

She looks down, feeling exhausted. "I'm going to go back to sleep."

"Yeah, yeah that's probably a good idea." He agrees, looking over at Aaron once more, finally letting go of her shoulders and stepping away from her.

When Charlie leaves she sits down, replaying his words over and over again in her mind. It's not that Charlie's a bad man, it's just that he's been a little too much lately. She used to think he was sweet, and he used to make her feel safe, but now it's just like he's…overwhelming her. Controlling her. She knows he cares, really and truly cares, but she wishes he'd back off a bit.

She's scared to tell him that, though, because the truth is she's afraid of being alone. Really afraid. Because she was alone before, and look where she ended up because of it. On a plane ride destined to crash here, on this island.

Claire thinks if she was a stronger person she'd really stand up to Charlie. Tell him until he finally understood. But she's not, and fear and indecision keep her where she is. Being torn is not fun, it's tiring. Everything these days is tiring to her.

She'll never tell Charlie this, but she has this dream where she's back home. Where she's back in the room with those people who wanted to adopt her baby, while she was still pregnant.

In the dream she signs the paper, and while she does it, she's smiling.

End


End file.
